Friday, November 5, 2010
I was a finicky little kid. I had to have things a certain way, order and would cry when something icky was stuck to my hand. I still have issues with all three-me and honey do NOT get along. I'm learning that a certain little someone very dear to me is the very same way. The other day, for instance, I thought I'd help quell the 5 o'clock fits by making pumpkin pie playdough Oh this was not the case. She oooohhed and ahhhhhhed as I showed her what she could do with it but as soon as that index finger hit the surface of playdough squish...THAT WAS THE END OF IT. "All done" came out of her mouth and any attempt to convince her to try it was met with the sad lip and a quivering "all done, peas". Hence, she is her mother's daughter. We're battling the terrible two's and some days I'm at my wit's end. She has terrific qualities of independence, strong will and determination but right now, while we set boundaries and rules that will be upheld regardless of how many peas' we hear, it's a tough road. No one said parenting is easy. It's not. It's a constant war within yourself of, "am I doing this right?" "Did I make the right decision?" "Will giving her another bag of fruit 'nacks' really hurt anything?" And then the deeper questions of whether what you do now, will really make a difference in the future? Will I be able to establish a bond with her in spite of her independence? Will she come to me as a teenager and feel like she can ask me those tough questions? It's constant. I take it one day at a time as much as I can. I feel like those teenage years are still quite a while away, it still floors me that my daughter is nearly two already. Where did the time go hits me smack on the forehead daily. I can't just stick those questions and wonders on the back burner permanently because like everyday, it's gonna smack me in the face like a sack of bricks that one of those tomorrow's will eventually be today.